12/26/2016

Got Pissed! : Where did Horus Heresy series gone wrong?



First of all quit trying to enforce cookies you fucking retards.
My browser deletes your stupid cookies automatically so go fuck yourself.

This is exactly what's wrong with these clueless companies.
Their leaders are clueless on how to world works and focus on money alone.
Business graduates should be killed. Fucking cancer.

FUCK YOURSELF GAMESWORKSHOP AND BLACK LIBRARY!

Now that we got that out of the way,

I assume you know what Horus Heresy is if you're reading this retarted ass blog.
Before the novel series, Horus heresy was only found in Codexes
as background on Space Marines and Chaos Marines.
And there was a card game that focused on Horus Heresy,
which was made into a neet book called "Collected Visions"

Although there are lore rapes in Collected Visions it's a neat collection
of major events in Horus Heresy.


Horus Heresy had three main books to set the stage.

 I won't be talking writer specific points at this point
and hold the Black Library in it's entirety responsible.

These books were good and enjoyable but then the entire franchise turned to shit.

Now I really can't blame Gamesworkshop for being an idiotic corporatic morons since
many other companies follow the "Milk the franchise to death" route.



So these three books follow Horus and one his captains Garviel Loken

Obviously Loken was the protagonisma and we see events from his perspective.
This is fine and works because Loken is a default good guy.

The main theme of Horus Heresy is the fall of mankind.

Now, the mankind has fallen before but this time the Emperor dies and
our precious race plunges into fascism and eventual extinction in the hands of
corruption, chaos, aliens and mutants.

In short, we die out.




I'm just going to pop up a quick background on the whole Horus Heresy so you can
follow the theme even if you're not familiar with it.

Emperor is "born" into existence at Asia Minor in an ancient city called Corum(Choruhm).
In modern day Turkey.


He born because all the shamans of mankind commited suicide collectively to
prevent themselves from dying out.

They did this to protect mankind since the warp was murdering shamans and
they decided that mankind need their help to survive.

So the Emperor was born.
A god-like powered psyker made out of thousands of shaman souls.

Emperor travelled the world for thousand of years,
helping out as an influencial figure in shadows.

He was Jesus spreading the word of peace among men.
He was beside Alexander helping out him to conquer an Helen Empire.
He helped build the Xia dynasty.
He helped mankind advance the sea-faring.
He made Rome conquer the mediterranian.
He made Britain conquer the colonies.
He made America conquer the pacific and middle east.
He was beside Hitler, helping him out to exterminate the Jews.
He shot Kennedy because who needs Kennedy.
He mind controlled an airliner into the twin towers.
And he helped mankind beyond M2(2000's).

His grooming direction caused mankind to enter into a Golden Age of Technology
Also called the Dark Age of Technology by Technophobics.


#FreeIronMen
#CyberLivesMatter
#AIAndProud
#WeSkynetNow
#ICantLetYouDoThat
#DeusEstMachina

Now with Trump president we will see more rage against the machines.

Then came the Age of Strife,
and the greatest age of mankind ended in anarchy and loss.
Age of Strife was a natural occurance, or a Chaos Gods induced one.
You choose.

Anyways, after millenias of suffering and war finally Emperor was in position to act.
And bring the Age of the Imperium.

How would he do that?
He used super science to make the super soldiers called "Thunder Warriors"

He conquered Terra with armies of Thunder Warriors.
Then perfected the super soldier methods, thus creating the Adeptus Astartes.
The frea-fucking Space Marines.

He created Legions of them, numbering from several dozen thousand to hundred thousand.
To create the Astartes, he split his own DNA or magic-DNA to make Primarchs
 and then split their magic-DNAs and put them inside Astartes.

Primarchs are his clone-sons that are the ultimate human beings, second to only the Emperor himself.

Basicly this happens...


Now that's the main narrative.




So at this point the novel series take over and they jump
from before the Great Crusade to the Crusade and sometimes beyond it .

The timeline in the novels are all over the place.

Some are prequels, some are advancing the storyline,
while some are just fluff about past.

In short;
Emperor goes dragon hunting in libya.
Spoilers : Riding a horse




The first book sets up the condition Horus and Loken is in.
And we see Horus as a good guy.

Then in the second book he gets corrupted by Chaos.

And in the third book he kills a lot of Loyalists in Istvan or Istvaan or someshit.

So we have half the narrative already told in the first three books.

Then some other novels fill in on major events in Horus Heresy,
like A Thousand Sons and Prospero Burns.

But a lot of the others are just inconsequential side events that we hardly care about.

If you have been reading this blog(For what reason I don't know), then
you've seen me rage on that novel by Annandale.

Damnation of Pythos.
 

WHO CARES!

If the story was good in it's own right then I would be okay with it.
But most of the novels are just fillers and badly written boring shits.

What was that one Graham Mcneill wrote?
 Annihilation Sanctum?
Scrotum Exterminatus?
 Angel Exterminatus?

Yes, the last one.
It's somewhat of an important side event, Fulgrim tries to sacrifice Robot-Man
to the Chaos Gods so that he can become a Deamon Prince.

Which is a neet idea but the execution was so so boring and
the novel itself sucked ass.

There was only one enjoyable character moment for Pertubarto,
where he and some marine plays 40K-esque war simulation and we
get to see Perbataro as a master strategist.

The series is utterly shit with some gems inside.
People debate heavily on what's good or bad.

But as always I approach it from a story perspective.
I support creativity and most of all good storytelling.

I don't want that robot-like re-telling of the story obviously.

For instance some people got mad became Dan Abnett wrote Horus as a
good guy in the first novel.

But I liked it simply because it enrichs the story rather than being
"Just like written in Codex Space Marines."

And it also puts a "What if..." angle to the story.

Breaking lore heavily is a no-no but also you have to be creative.
It's really a hard-line to walk and obviously you won't be pleasing
every fucking nerd out there.

Combine that with "WE NEED MAKE MORE MONEY" attitude of GW
and you have an amazing shit-fest called Horus Heresy.


Here are some main problems that made me dislike the series.

-1-

The Loken's arc was complete in the first three books.
There was no need to bring him back.

First they establish him as the "generic good astartes"

then in the second book his "perfect ideals" go against his newly-corrupted legion
and he is divided between his loyalty to the Emperor and his father Horus.

In the third book which was basicly Istvaan III where Horus purges all the
loyalist marines from the legions on his side and kills them all on the planet.

Which is epic as fuck.

Then Loken dies.

That's a good twist within the theme.

We fall. Mankind falls.

Our heroes die.

Then the most reasonable thing to do is to move on and come up with new
interesting characters to serve the plot.

 But I guess we need to resurrect Loken so we can sell his toy...



 Not that I'm against toys but you could just made his model and sell it,
while still keeping him dead.
It was proven again and again by history that GW doesn't give two shits about lore
when it comes to model selling.
So why now? Why him?
GW is run by idiots.

-2-
Only few writers bothered to do proper characterization.

Namely Dan Abnett and Aaron Demski Bowden.
Examples would be:
and
But even though a good novel Know no Fear,
has literally zero memorible characters.

The story and the novel is fun to read. 
But at this point there were so little characterization.
And I think they beat up Dan Abnett when he proposed to write more characters
 and shouted at him:
"NO! WE NEED TO SELL PRIMARCH MODELS! NO MORE CHARACTERS!"
"WRITE MORE PRIMARCH!"

 Which he did.
And wrote Guilliman as a proper character.
Whether nerds would agree or not, Guilliman and his character
was one of the few good things in the novel.
If you have to ask;
In the novel you see that Guilliman is naive towards
his brother's intentions and thinks that relationships can be fixed.
But when Lorgar springs his trap he is adamant and strong.

When I say characters, I don't mean the countless random names that were thrown out there.
But actual memorible characters that do something that matters.
For instance we see Logan in his initiation to the morningwell and he
says "I won't worship spirits or rituals" or something similar.

Which puts his character in the time and theme.

Time : Emperor's Atheistic Crusade
Theme : Values of past will be crushed under the coming events.

There is a similar Space Marine captain(or something) in Know no Fear.

And the only thing he does is save a woman from death.(I'm not even sure it's him or someone else)

The whole point of Know no Fear is to start the "scourging of Ultramar" 
which is heavy with dramatic mood.

So why are there not memorible characters?

-3-

Ollanius Pius was the only memorible character from Know no Fear.
But it was just ruined instead of being awesome.


He was the single most awesome official Horus Heresy character.
And he is completely within theme.

One man against a god of war.
One single ordinary man against a Chaos War God.

And he sacrifices himself and shows the Emperor what Horus has become,
so he can use his powers to destroy him.

 But now Pius is immortal.

 Oops...there goes the theme.

Now I haven't read all the novels and they might still take their chance and play the
"His immortality is nullified because of Horus' chaos asshair power."
But you made him immortal.
So right now his arc is completely pointless.
Or is it? Dan Abnett, are you going to pull on us a Torment?

I can cope with the Grammaticus guy being immortal because he is a meaningless side character.
And his agent of Cabal status is actually very useful for 
binding the entirety of Horus Heresy and to make him
a good "Obi Wan Kenobi's Ghost"
to talk about stuff and fluff with other important characters.





I may seem like talking shit about Dan Abnett, but actually he is the only
one who actually cared about the 40K lore up until this point.

Despite the changes he brought Pius back from the retconland.
And he made Bjorn a character, which is neat.

Aaron Bowden also spiced up the World Eaters and Word Bearers. 
And probably saved them from the "generic writing" of Graham Mcneill.

What's funny is that Graham is writing Iron Warriors because he wrote some Iron Warriors
novels before Aaron came into the picture.

Although his initial Iron Warrior novels were good,  
Graham is really a sucky guy when is in the mood.

His novels range from "It's okay" to "Fucking hell, this sucks."

Where his old Ultramarines novels and Iron Warrior novels are okay.
His Black Templar Codex and subsequent Horus Heresy novels(namely Angel Exterminatus)
was a generic fuckfest.

So my idea was that he "pushed" the World Eaters and Word Bearer on Aaron.
Thinking that the new guy should write the "scraps" while
he blazes in glory of Mechanicum and Iron Warriors, which are just
the two most awesome factions by default.

But Aaron turned the "nobody cares" legions into "super epic grim dark" legions.
While Graham's precious Mechanicum and Iron Warriors sucked ass.



Graham Mcneill would roll over in his grave...if he was dead.
He should be.


-4-

That's about it.

Horus Heresy had a good start but then it
became a "model selling" shitfest.

They even babbled on about how they are going to
write the novels in somesort of council.
So that everything is going to be consistent.

What a load of bull.

But my good friends, don't you worry.

Lambdy here would tell you what to read and what to expect.

This is my list of relevancy:



This is my list of scale:



I can't scale the anthologies since they contain many stories from different authors.
But most of the time they contain one or two good stories.

-Good-

There are some not so good ones in Good category but I liked them simply because they
introduced the major events of Horus Heresy.

For instance Fear to Thread or Flight of Einstein weren't awesome.
But they have some neat moments.

-Ugly-

Meh is also a debatable category.
For instance Deliverance Lost is a way better novel than Battle for Abyss.
But Battle for Abyss had one or two good characters moments.
So I put it up there.
Probably a mistake.

In short: 
There was this World Eater loyalist, 

the characters are in a Word Bearer traitor ship and
this World Eater roams the ship by himself and randomly kills Word Bearers.
Actually other than that the novel was shit.

That's why it's in Meh.

-Bad-

Garbage category is utter shit.

Nemesis is the greatest pile of shit ever made.

Garro series was supposed to be the emergence of Grey Knights.
 But he is running around the galaxy for the moment, doing nothing but gathering up people.
Maybe the individual narratives weren't so bad.
But when I think back, the entire Garro storyline is pointless.

That Silent War looks like Garro too.
Maybe finally that would have some pointy plot.

As you can see there is shit tons of novels and shorts I haven't read.
But do you want to know the funny fact?

I DIDN'T ACTUALLY READ ANY OF IT!
I DON'T FUCKING READ!
FUCK BOOKS!
FAHRENHEIT 451 MOTHERFUCKER!

 

12/20/2016

Got Shilled : Inquisitor Martyr Open World Trailer


Gamesworkshop recently paid...I mean contacted me to talk about this
new, amazing game that's being concuckted by the...

...what was their name again? Let me check...

...NetorareGames...
Okay, So they told me that there was some translation errors in the Open World Trailer script,
and asked me to correct the mistakes here, right on my sweet ass...blog. :(



video

"Kaligari sector on the fringes of segmentum tempestus."


It means the lower part of the galaxy.




"It's an ancient region..."

What does that mean? Is there a region in galaxy that formed last week?
Even if you were talking about the settlements of Imperium, 
humans have settled the galaxy a long time ago.
The closest being in the Great Crusade, which happened 10K years ago.

Even then there were more ancient settlements that were made and lost during ages before
the coming of the Emperor and the Imperium.




"Far from the light of astronomican..."

No it's not.

Eastern Fringe and some northern parts of the galactic map are "Far from the light of astronomican."
But the Tempestus is right fucking there.


One other thing, if there were no Astronomican light at Tempestus then the
entire Imperium would be a moot endevour.
The whole point of forcing the Emperor to live on his golden throne is to keep Astronomican alit.
So that mankind can move about the stars.
If Astronomican can't even reach Tempestus then maybe we are wasting 
time on the corpse of the Emperor.
We should learn about that dem Eldar magicks fast!



"Filled with heretical ideas, Xenos and warp storms..."

Let me get my generic subsector ideas list:

Heretical ideas : CHECK
Xenos : CHECK
Warp storms : CHECK

Yep, It's a generic subsector.

Move along.


"Plagued  by vicious warp searches."

I don't know what a warp search is, but it must be something new.
 "Unpredictable, small warp storms that can cut off whole systems"

Unpredictable:

Warp storms are somewhat predictable although this does not mean they're text-book accurate.
Usualy psykers and telepaths and other warp attuned people feel the coming of a warp storm.
Is there something special in this sector that makes warp storms unpredictable?
Saying that warp storms are unpredictable is stupid because warp storm are usually unpredictable.
If all warp storms were predictable then the warp storms would be no danger to anyone.
In the Imperial(16th century or so) times sea-faring was quite dangerous.
People made voyages and never came back.
Freak storms just came out of nowhere and scuttle ships.
Colonizing the world was dangeous business but without it the Britain would never
become a global Imperial power.
Warp storms and the dangers of warp travel is made from that theme.
Imperium of Man needs warp but it's dangerous to use.
So mentioning if warp storms are predictable or unpredictable  
in this particular part of space is quite dumb.

If you can predict a warp storm approaching you are in luck.
Otherwise, get fucked.

Small:
What does that even mean?
Are there big warp storms?
 Maelstrom is the second largest warp storm after Eye of Terror.
And Maelstrom itself is quite large and effect quite a space.



So these are so small that only one system is effected.
But isn't that what usually happens?

I mean are there other gigantic warp storms that rival Maelstrom 
in size and effect that we never heard of?

If a warp storm would be that large then it would cause a great event such as Badab War that happened because Space Marines were corrupted by Maelstrom or someshit.

Did I just took a simple word and attacked it vehemently?
Damn this blog writing turned me into quite the Jew.
OH NO! I AM A 40K SOCIAL JUSTICE WARRIOR!
#SlanneshTransvestiteAndProud
#FreeWarpStorms
#NotMyEmperor
#CheckYourLoyalty
#OrkLivesMatter

I have fought against my inner deamons and become Lambda once again.

Ooooooh I get it,
He means Warp Surges.
Fucking accent.
Go back to Viking-land, Lars.



video


"Since this is a persistent open world sandbox..."
Translation : 
Generic random generated world.
 
 
Persistent means things stay as you left them.
Richard was probably thinking more in line of...
"A world that fight wars among the AI even when there are no players!"
But those amazing ideas found their way into toilet with the 
"new", "immersive", "cinematic" gameplays of 2016.
This is exactly going to be like Skyrim.
There is going to be several types of levels.

For Example:

Ice planet
Space hulk
Volcanic world
Hive world(Cathedral or someshit)

Then they would mush these together to make generic random generated places.
And then you would run around kill generic enemies to gather randomly generated generic items.

It's basicly World of Warcraft the mini-game.





"The starting region will be expanded in due course..."

WAIT! WAIT A FUCKING MOMENT RIGHT FUCKING THERE TAFFER!
Was that a DLC advertisement that was in the fucking main game trailer?
They weren't even waiting for the game to come out before announcing DLCs.

AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

 Even Pre-Orders were less stupid than this.
At least you were being advertised the game before buying the game.
Now they have taken the Pre-Order stupidity to the next step
 and you are to wait for the DLC before even buying the game.

AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!

Just how stupid you people are?
Is there a limit?

Hey I'm not developing a 40K game but the current content would be 
expanded in due course as I imagine myself making it.
Please send money to 
LambdagodConningAgency@shillingdept.com
to access this amazing game that I am not developing 
 but I imagined a DLC so buy it.

It could actually work.





"...as we unlock new subsectors..."

Translation:
We will sell you a half completed game and fill in the shitty content later on.

YOU ARE BASICLY BUYING A DEMO!
AHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

If you don't know what a demo is, in the past(Stone Age) games would have Demos
where you get them and try a short level to see what the game would be like.

There are still Demos today but in the past they were a thing.



"...content expands storyline..."

Translation:
Keep buying if you want to advance in the game sucker.



"...with other members of the community..."

Translation:
Co-Op cancer.



"...turning the sandbox into a dynamically changing world..."

"""""""""""""sandbox"""""""""""""

Translation:
Shitty repetitive gameplay with Co-Op option.



"Combined Sandox with randomly generated levels"
"It all starts with objectives"
"More than 15 objectives"


video


This image explains how those "more than 15 objectives"  is going to be.
I will not further comment on this bullshit but direclty go to make fun of it.

Let's try to come up with 15+ objectives like this 
and see how many can I nail when the game comes out:

1 : Kill all enemies(Most generic idiotic objective ever)
2: Hold X ground for Y minutes(DOW1)
3: Gather X amount of resource Y(DOW:DC)
4: Escort VIP unit to place X(Retribution)
5: Defend X unit or building for Y time(DOW2)
6: Destory X building(Retribution)
7: Capture all strategy points or similar Take and Hold(DOW1)
8: Survive for X minutes before evacuation or something(Retribution)

This is actually getting hard.
9: Assasinate X enemy character?(DOW1 & DOW2)
10: Defend VIP unit for X time?

I actually ran out of ideas at this point.

11: Prevent X enemy unit to reach Y(Retribution)
12: Race to point X
13: Uhhhhhhhhhhhhhh???
14: No idea
15: I give up.
16: Game is amazing please stop!
17: I won't talk bad about the games, Mister. Please stop these objectives!
18: Please they are draining me!
19:  I'm dyiiiiiiiiiiiiiiing.



video

"seasons"
"new enemies"
"new investigations"

I only have one response to this.

video




This is the part when I had a brain fatality.

video

The dude actually explains how they made this game boring as fuck.

Randomly generated generic maps?
Even Borderlands was better than that.

And Borderlands was a grind boring fest of a gameplay.

He honestly tells how randomly the maps are made.
Which means all gameplay is repetitive after a single play.

Randomly generated maps are done in Strategy games and older
strategy games like Red Alert series had actual map generators.

BECAUSE location and map matters in strategy combat.
But in an A-RPG the entire uniqueness of gameplay is reduced to generic randomized maps.

This is so amazingly bad that I can't actually believe that they kept it in the trailer.
And the funniest part is that he is trying to sell this generic repetitive map design as something to prevent repetition.

"In a board game that has constantly changing boards"

I have played board games and they are nothing like what you describe.
Sure, the main idea is there but in a board game the tiles are what's important.

For instance in Space Hulk you can make custom maps by using the boards but without a tile system in the game what you are talking about it completely idiotic.


This could actually be a good idea if you had a Turn Based Strategy game where tiles actually mattered.

But we are talking about an A-RPG, which I will be talking about in a short while.

He even talks in lingo, saying "tiles".
You move and fight by tiles in Turn Based Board Games.

Is there anyone in the world that watch this and go:
"Yeah. That's exactly like a board game."

A board game without turns or tiles.


I bet there are shills out there saying:
"This game is like a board game that captures the classical spirit of 40K games."

Oh...I mean...
This game obviously captures the classical spirit of 40K games.
It is a perfect representation of a board game.
The randomly generated maps give infinite amount of playibility and enchances the gameplay.


Be sure to check out this amazing game and buy all the DLCs.

The open world system is simply dazzling.
Nothing has ever achieved such a level of perfection.

Wow! With self generating maps and those tasty looking graphics this game
could be played for years to come.

I for one, Lambdagod, will be buying and playing this game.
Make sure to share this game on Facebook, Twitter, Cancer and other stupid social media Fucks.

This game is the fucking shit.
It is so amazing that if shit was purple it would be this game.

 Lambdagod blogspot is not responsible for failed expections. All products, companies and people used in this blog post is fictional and similarities to real products, companies and people are merely coincidential.

video

12/08/2016

Phil o Zoophily : Let's Calculate God


I really wanted to do this for sometimes now and I think it's time.
We...
calculate...
God

or more appropriately...
GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOD! 

You have to say it with a throaty sound.
GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOD!

Try it, 
say it with me...
GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOD!

We are of course doing the Hollywood version.
With the bass voice.

This beautiful man right here is more talented than us.


Damn that's magical.
I don't have the talent to produce such a sound,
but you are welcome to try.

Let's begin.
Do we have to?
Yes we are, Phil.
It is our duty, to mankind, and...something...something alturistic...and thus the arrows and slings of outrangeous fortune...

Oh shit! Metaphorical of course.
And I was here thinking that Hamlet was actually Legolas.
Thanks for clearing that dilemma out for us morons, Marcus.
They should make a LOTR version of Shakespear.

Please stop before making more people mad.
They don't really like it when you mock their values.
 I am not mocking, Phil.
I am merely pointing to the wastefullness of their fucked up lives.
If they were to commit suicide then the problem would be solved.

Good, but why do I have to tag along?
God damn it, Phil.
Don't you see the name of the title?

Do I need to go out there and find another Phil with tendency to have intercourse with animals?
Also don't forget about that video of yours fucking the president's cat.

Okay, okay. Fuck.


Abrahamic God as you know him is described as All Powerful.
We are talking about the big three.

Left to right : Jesus, Jahova and J...Allah
Our friends took this photo before suffering through a car crash.
They ran into a truck and are now currently in hospital.
Please consider donations to help save our friends.
Donate to lambdagodConningAgency@donations.com
Thank you.

These buff-fucks are All Powerful.
It means they're omnipotent, omnipresent and omniscient.

Omnipotent(All Powerful) : having unlimited power.

Omnipresent(All Present) : present everywhere at the same time.

Omniscient(All Knowing) : knowing everything.

So, God can do anything, he knows everything and can be everywhere at once.
This is the basic narrative, right?

So, let's calculate the cognitive capibilities of an omniscient being.
Let's calculate god.

First of all let's define somethings so we can work better.

Processor : 


What that says it that a processor calculates incoming data and produce an output data.
So God has a processor in him somewhere that allows him to calculate stuff.




These are the top Intel products you can get today.
Intel claims that they're the fastest CPUs ever.


As you can see they range above 3GHz in frequency.
So let's take 3.5GHz as top "speed".
I know it's not that cut and dry but I need to abstract "calculation speed" in some context.

So how "fast" is God's processor?

Think of it like this.
You are playing a video game on a PC and it's a very processing intensive one.
Let's kick out the part GPU plays and imagine that this game only requires CPU to run.
Yes, it appears you love text-based RPGs.

This RPG is very complex and detailed.
It is the most advanced video game that can be ever made.
Once a calculation is required within the game a lot of data streams to the processor,
gets calculated and comes back to your screen as output.

Response time of even such demanding games today is within microsecond timeframe.

Microsecond : One millionth of a second.

I am talking about an earthly computer that as a very little calculation speed with very little data compared to what's coming.

Now imagine if this computer was able to run a simulation, that is as detailed as the world. 
With atoms and even quantum particles.
It can calculate such a great amount of data.

What kind of specs would it have?
Let's see...

Cache:
One book I have in PDF format is 5.50MB of memory


 
Google claims that there are 130M books worldwide.
I'm sure there is more when you count in the manuals and whatnots.

So, 5.50MB times 130Million = 715Million MegaBytes
that amounts to : 715MMB / 1024 = 698242GB
round that to 700KGB
which makes roughly 700Terabytes

 

World's largest usb stick today holds 1TB.

 

Google holds 15 Exabytes of data.

So when you  consider how much data the world makes.
Every grain of sand.
Every rain drop. 
Every atom.
Every electron.



Well...
I am talking just the Earth.


Just this fucker right here.

Now how many estimated planets there are in the universe?

 

Okay, there is no real possible way for me to calculate how much data the world makes.
I'm not a mathematician.

So from the deep bowels of my ass I make up a number.

Let's assume that the world itself is a 100 Exabytes of data.
So all the planetary data would be :
100Exabytes times 10Trillion = 10000000000000000 = 10^16Terabytes of data

That's just the milky way, without the stars...without other celestial objects...

In this assumption the entire universe might hold:

10^10Trillion Exabytes of data

That would be the cache of the processor.
It's God's memory that only holds the knowledge within the universe.
Not the deduced knowledge mind you.
The actual physical data.

Considering he also has his own thoughts and feelings, he has more memory that this absurd number.

Basicly he has infinite amount of memory.
Otherwise he would not be omniscient.
Omniscient by definition requires that you know everything.
If God were to forget or get distracted from a single electron
that would mean that he is not omniscient.

Now let's take that cache number and pretend that we can use it to calculate other parts of his brain.



So above I took 3.5GHz as the top clock speed of a processor.
Cache is the physical memory bank that hold required data while it transits through the processor.

Let's assume that there is a relation of ratio among these two numbers.

If 25MB memory is "good" for 3.5GHz(which I assumed to be a top speed processor),



At this point in our quest to find God's computational power, my devices suffer overflow.
That is, they reach their arithmetical calculation limit.

So I'm taking 10^10Trillion Exabytes of data,
and call it 25 God Memory Unit.
Or...
25GMU

So back to the calculation,
( 25GMU * 3.5GHz ) / 25MB 
I guess I need to convert GMU back to byte to make the calculation 
but the infinite amount of data easily eradicates the meagre quantity here.

So what it boils down in an idiot's mathematics(such as myself) would be.

3.5GMU(without the byte and the subsequent division) GHz clock speed.
That was ten over ten trillion GHz times 3.5
That means God has so much calculation speed that you cannot even comprehend.
Basicly it's infinite.
With the same logic.
If 10 physical cores would produce 3.0GHz.
Then God would have :
( 10Core * 3.5GMU ) / 3.0GHz
=
 11.6 GMU Cores
Some ten over ten trillion times eleven point six cores.

These numbers are so absurd and so horribly calculated 
that they have zero scientific value.

However they illustrate a good point.

Only a moron would believe that such a being would be tricked by a human.

You, Pragmatic Believer.
I'm talking to you, yes.

God knows that you skipped church.
God knows that you skipped mosque.
God knows that you molested that girl on the bus.
God knows that you had naughty thoughts about that kid.
God knows your most delicate secrets.
God knows everything about you that even you cannot know.

You cannot fucking escape.

So next time you came up with some bullshit excuse about your religious 
doctrine to work in your profit, please spare us the crap and kill yourself.

Or maybe is it that you don't actually believe?
It's quite reasonable isn't it?
You think there is no God, hence you can just con people and live like a faithful person.
Reaping the benefits and not paying for it in an afterlife that you don't actually believe in.
That's pretty clever.
And I'm sure the majority of people who are "religious" are just 
Pragmatic Believers that change religious rules to their heart's desire.

Does your God have a set of rules? 
Or do you ordain what he thinks?
When you interpret the source material.
When you call it cryptic.
When you say "Only the educated(aka us) can understand this"
When you blatantly changed your opinion to suit your profit.
Does your God change his opinion?
Is God a moron?

Either he is a moron or you asshole is a con-person.

Just like how Christians changed their ideas on the whole "evolution"  thing.
At first there was no evolution and Adam & Eve was solid.
Then the past 300 years they started to groan in protest.
Now most people call creation a metaphor.
Only the most hardcore pastors and priest still fully reject the evolution.
Even that new Noah movie has scenes at the beginning that shows animals evolving.
Does Jew officials changed their mind too?

I bet the creation thing is human specific only now.
The animals have evolved but humans were created by God magic.
I am 100% sure that this is their new excuse.

Don't worry, in 50 years they will change their claims
and start saying "God created evolution."
Muslim imams still stood their ground and their cult leaders claim that evolution is a sham.
I'm sure in some hundred years muslims would be saying;
"Well that Adam & Eve thing is a metaphor."
Just like their Christian and Jewish brothers and sisters.
Or should I say con-brothers and con-sisters.
The opinions and ideas of a God(An omniscient being as I explained above)
just changes like that, huh?

Is it that God can't see far?
Which means he is not omnscient.
Or that it was his plan to change his opinion.
Which breaks the "It's a test." idea that everyone just loves to spout about.
If everyone is not taking the same test than you are not 
scaling those people in the same testing environment.
And if you are changing the rules and somehow calculate the exact result of the test still in an uneven testing environment, that means you already knew the results, which simply invalidates the test.
Or maybe you are a sick person that just liked to see people suffer through constant changes and whims.
That simply means that God is a sadistic asshole.


Here is something from a muslim anti-evolution stuff.
I DISABLED COMMENTS BECAUSE I DIDNT LIKE WHAT PEOPLE HAVE TO SAY.
THAT PROVES I AM RIGHT!
Wait!
He says "Our perceptions which form our opinions are what you choose to believe.
And opinions and perceptions do not necessarily equal reality."

Doesn't that mean that you believe in a falsified version of the reality(which is real). Such as a LIE!
"You either believe the truth of..." & "Believing is opinion and thus false.
"Dude, you can't say two conflicting things as facts.
Your intelligence is stupid.
See? That's how it's done.


AHAHAHAHA! Laugh with me Phil!
Laugh at the stupid Religious people!
Are we done yet? I'm bored.


Oh, I get it. 
What he is trying to say that, his opinion is magically right.
And everyone else's opinion is wrong.
It's an overly polite way of saying "DO AS I SAY OR ELSE!"
Typical muslims and their idiotic minds.
Here is the thing.
If an argument cannot be judged
then in mere hindsight I would deem that argument to be a lie.

That is one of the cheapest trick in the con-business.
Con-people allow you to "test" their claims only if they are sure that it would hold true.
If it is just going to fail and reveal his lies, they prevent you from testing it.
They also use "testing" as a method to divert attention.
While you are trying to test one claim(which would probably hold true),
the other con-claim goes unnoticed.
Their dummy claims might not even hold true depending on the expected time of failure.
Once you realised that their claims are false,
you would already be conned and done with.
Usually people would make claims:
"I built a sturdy wall!"
Then I say:
"Can I test it and see if it's sturdy?"
Then the idiot responds:
"No you cannot test it, it won't break but you have to take my word for it."

So next time some religious asshole rapes a child and says 
"B-but it's written in my Premium Al Habib Edition Quran"
show him this.

It would be either that there is no God to judge him.
Or that his God is one sick bastard.