Ever heard of Hellblazer? Probably not. It's the comic of John Constantine. You probably watched the movie, so yeah that John. Kinda.
I'm going to complain about this writer. What's her name, Phil?
Ok, I looked it up it's; Denise Mina.
Right off the bat I knew the writer was a women, I didn't looked up the name at first and just dived in. Don't ask me how I know, I just do. It's one of my many psychic powers. Something about the dialog and way people conversed with each other gave it away. Then I looked at her wiki, yep, a women.
There is always this thing about inter-gender writing. Something that just doesn't click. When a man writes a woman, the female character always feels like a man wrote her and vice versa. Men written by women feels...somehow different than real men, more fictional per say. And this is understandable since you can only become a man or a women and don't know exactly how the other side feels.
|Yeah, right. You're a gender binary asshole.|
What I'm trying to say that it is biology, one hormone or the other. Who the fuck are you anyway? Get the fuck outta here.
|I am your worst nightmare, I AM THE DEFENDER OF TRANSPEOPLE ALL AROUND THE-|
Who the fuck was that, anyway?
|I'm not volunteering.|
|I don't do donkeys. It's a common misconception that-|
This Mary Sheldon, was a late addition to the Hellblazer family and at first(like always), I hated her style.
You need good bits in there to win my heart. And to my suprise she did. But let's begin with the bad bit.
|This is a bad entry to the saga, lady.|
2: He killed these deamon things like a well trained commando.
3: What the fuck is that shit? Is this an anime?
You got me pissed, Mary. Real pissed.
|Her name is Denise, you idiot.|
Oh, right. So Denise, we need to talk about this part. John is not an asskicker. In fact he is at it's best when he got his ass kicked.
Even Garth Ennis got this shit sorted out. John isn't a winner so your entire scene is...incomprehensible. I mean, do I supposed to be impressed? Or maybe you wanted to do a twist? Whatever the reason was, this was the worst scene since Garth Ennis' stuff. And oh boi, I have lots to complain about Ennis. In the future perhaps. Don't take this the wrong way Denise. You just happen to be at the wrong part of my mind when the night dragged on.
|Something "dragged" on alright.|
I was trying to say that she fell into the bullseye at the wrong-
Are you done mocking me?
|The best kicking John had.|
John always got his ass kicked and sometimes horribly. His skill base is trickery and deceit, not combat. The scene was a shocker and that was the worst part of it. It came out of nowhere and led to nowhere. Maybe it was a "Now John is kicking ass." moment but it really wasn't. If the scene was John pulling up some magical trick on them, it would be neater. But that's just my opinion. And as you all know MY OPINION IS LAW.
So now onto the good bits.
This bit was clever and funny. I like it. Yes, in contrary to common belief I am capable of liking things.
She is funny.
I don't know if this was because the writer was a woman, which in my theory write their own kin better than their male counterparts or because it was just plain good writing.
In both cases, good job Denise.
|Wow, are we really gonna end this on a high note? Like for real.|
Besides don't you worry, I will be back as the harbinger of doom in the next post. I will rip human society apart and put it back together like a Frankenstein monster.