8/11/2016

RearView : Underhell

This segment of the show is called "RearView". TA DAAA! Why is it called rearview? Because I usually review really old stuff that nobody cares about.

Q: Why review old things that nobody gives shit about?
A: Because I have a mission! To the mankind! I promised that I would review these useless crap and post about them, so the world can be a better place. Future is coming. Are you ready?

Anyways, let's talk about the past for now.

 Underhell is a Half Life 2 mod, released back in 2011.

So let's bring this down into parts:

-Graphics
-Sound
-Gameplay
-Story
-Overall

Graphics:

As a Half Life 2 mod, it's graphics are very good. What I'm looking for graphics in a game is immersion and not the technical bazillion settings on your GPU.
If you are one of those graphic-whores, you would not like it. But I still think that Source Engine is very good for atmospheric stuff and overall quality.
On top of Source Engine, this game has atmospheric filters. I don't know if they coded it or extensively worked on the modding tools but the game looks more atmospheric than an average Source Engine mod.
Graphics feels really worked on and that was a good sign from the start.
Here are some caps to illustrate my points.
  
The lighting and general depth of places is really well done. Not in a, "top of the line" graphics quality as graphic-whore's of 2016 would expect, but more in an immersive way.
Most of the game takes place in closed spaces and it looks awesome. It maintains a level of quality on the outside too.
  
Graphics Score: 10/10

Sound:

Voice acting in this game is better than what most mods get. In Long War voiceacting sounds like they used their relatives as voiceactors and recorded the lines into a webcam mic.
Compared to that, Underhell's voiceacting was better. Clear, audable lines, probably recorded with better care.
I still love the crappy make-do voiceacting of Long War. It sounds awful but it enriches the game in a compelling way.

Music was good where it was present but I don't remember a really strong score for this one. Generally it was metalic/orchestral. It worked in certain scenes but overall there wasn't more of it. It needed more of stronger voice in the duration of the game.
I think this begs a different question.

What happened to game musics?
I don't ask it, "Game music today sucks. kind of way, there are lots of great OSTs out there. But generally what happened is this.
In the 90's a game would usually loop a track and start over. Each level would have it's own tracks so you would hear it again and again while you play the game.
Hitman 1, Red Alert 2, Commandos are good examples of this.
Then making games got easier, hence programming got easier and it was less work to program a changing music track. Thus born the duology. Games were given two types of tracks.  Action and General.
Action music started when you got into a fight while General track played during peaceful times.
Morrowind, Planescape and Hitman Blood Money are examples of this.
Then several companies went further and started to break down music into more segments so they would sync with the gameplay.
For example: In Fallout 3 there are three types of tracks. Action, General and Endings. It's the same thing with duology but this time the Action would loop and when the fighting is done it ends with an Ending track, which is usually short(similar to a stinger track).
Up to this everything is okay. You can have complex tracks to home in the action or give an impression of the scene.
But then some companies jumped in on the "cinematic experience"  bullshit-train and only made music to suit certain scenes because the game itself is just one animation after another.
Hitman:Absolution for instance. It sucks. I hate it.

This is not the case with Underhell, there is scene-related tracks playing within certain scenes but overall there is no score that hits the immersion home. It felt a little lazy on that part.

Sound Score: 6/10 Voiceacting, 5/10 Musical Score

Gameplay:

Overall the gameplay is good. 
-There is no regenerating health, you need health pack to stay alive. Although your health regens a little when it drops below 10 or something. But I'm not 100% sure about that. You can be sure that there is no hand-holding COD regen system.
-There is Iron Sights. This has become a standart thing with modern shooters but with this mod the iron sights feels more realistic. COD iron sights are meaningless because you are able to just spray and kill enemies, while in Underhell spraying is useless, which makes iron sights an amazingly fun thing to use.
Shooting in this game is super fun. 
Shooting this gun was fun, but you can't spray and pray. Take aim.


-Melee combat is fun, you can kick zombies in the head and get results. That was amazingly fun but I found the melee weapons to be a hassle. Just kick em.
-Game is a challenge. There is no hand-holding system that auto-finishes the game for you. Overall the game isn't amazingly hard but it is challenging.
-Survival system is fun. There is a kind-of-survival system. You have an energy bar and you have to eat. I have no idea what this does or what happens when your energy goes zero. I think it drops when you fight for prolonged durations, sprint, kick and some such. In hard difficulty you get less items so the scavenging part of the game loses focus since there is not much to scavenge. Eventually you don't need much scavenging after your first playthrough.
-Lore is somewhat okay. So you are in this underground prison complex and there is a sickness. The way they explained it, if I remember correctly, is that people die from sickness, their flesh rots immediately. Then they rise as zombies. I appreciated that they didn't tried to shove this simple concept as something "Amazing" or "Revolutionary". Because most zombie games are usually filled with that kind a preconception, that if you don't come up with a new zombie type then it's shit. Simple zombies can be more scary if used corretly than those overblown Resident Evil crap, where everyone has a giant zombie worm inside their mouths or something. And I believe Underhell used what they have sparringly.

-Anime & Eastern influences were worrysome. When you finish the prolog you chase after a guy that looks like a guy wearing an anime-robot-suit. He crashes through walls and I immediately thought "I hope this doesn't turn into anime.". Because everyone knows I hate anime. Then there are japanese characters that talk in japanese that even I can understand. And I don't know japanese. So for the duration of the gameplay you encounter Japanesy or eastern influenced things. For instance the one butcher boss has an oversized anime-blade. Similar to Resident Evil or Final Fagtasy. Luckily Devs did not overplayed on the Anime aspects and they were only minor things in the overall game.
Kawaii-san appeares near the end.
Kawaii-san ready for rape. Press X to rape.
Resident Evil Anime guy with giant sword
Japanese Evil Anime Guy wants Kawaii-san as his sex-doll.
 -Cutscenes are skippable: This was something I greatly appreciated. On your second playthrough you really get bored from the cutscenes and just skip them. Thank you devs for including this.
-Helmet scavenging is clever. You can rip helmets from heads and get 5 armour per helmet.
 -Ending segment in the village is very well done.
This reveal was clever and well done.
  
 -Niggers die at the end. I hate niggers. I hate em. Fucking rap talking trash people. If you ever talk like that "Yo Yo" version of sub-human culture than you deserve to die. European black people don't have that problem, they speak like proper people. Only American niggers have it. I hate rap and I hate those kind of speech. So anyone who talks like a rapper is a nigger and is subject to execution. I like African-accent for instance. But I can't stand that "Yo ma nigs." kind of speech. Damn Gangsta trash. There are even white people who speak like that who needed to be burned. I blame Tarantino for that shit. Fucking Liberantino.
So anyways. 
There are two specifically American-nigger talking black dudes. You suffer these assholes for the entire duration of the game. And they have somesort of lore involving the younger brother nigger getting protected by older nigger. They talk and talk in that Gangsta-nigger speech.

Niggers

Here you can see me kicking the nigger in the face.
At this point you have to make a decision. Would you choose the niggers or would you choose the whites?
I interpreted this scene as a metaphor for modern day europe.
Obviously whites. I hate niggers.



First white person sacrifices himself.

Second white person sacrifices himself.

And after all the white guys die, you are left alone with these niggers and have to save their asses.
Proof that American education system is a failure



Then the young nigger gots cruxified or something.

This part was the one I enjoyed the most.
Learn to speak properly in your next life, asshole.
Then nigger dies and I think this was supposed to be a sad moment but I was relieved beyond description.
Then you stand there uncaring to the nigger's demise. Damned niggers.
 Gameplay: 10/10 for a horror-shooter.

Story:
There really isn't much to say about the story. First off you start at the house, which puts you in the mood but eventually turns out to be pointless. While in the house you think it's going to be a survival horror but eventually it wasn't. Then you get to the SWAT levels and you forget about the horror entirely. It turns into a shooter game. Then you are sent to prison and get the first shock when the lights go out. That starting scene was awesome. Everything is dark and only the zombie security guard has a flashlight. Horror score at that point was also awesome. At first the game is real scary but you get over it initially when you arm yourself. Then it becomes a survival game and sometimes shooter. Overall this game ranges from General Horror to Military Shooter to Survival Horror to Stealth. Generally the story within the prison complex is okay but I didn't like the weaker stuff outside the prison complex.
Game's theme and mood is perfect as a survival but after the whole story is revealed to you, you lose some respect for it. If there ever will be an Episode 2 then I hope it is completely real shit and not "it was just a dream".
I don't blame the writer for that. I blame the times. Today everything has to be realistic and dark. So if you have a silly premise like a zombie-prison, they think people would laugh at it. But it's how it is done, premise isn't even that important. 
Here are two quick examples of movies where execution is bigger than the premise: 
Drive
Mad Max: Road Fury
Both these movies have stupid premises but they are executed so well that they work.
If this game was just the house, dream and prison sequences, I would love it. SWAT part was a good prologue but the ending was a not so satisfying epilogue. Keep things real. You don't have to explain everything or make everything 100% realistic. Just put in amazing dream sequences and it would be like "the protag is mad.".

Overall:
Overall it was fun. It was well done and worked on. It wasn't stupid. It wasn't insulting. It had ups and downs but overall it is a good mod. I recommend it and I hope they eventually will make an Episode 2. With less niggers hopefully.


Oh hi.

7/11/2016

RearView: XCOM Long War v2



   As a fan of XCOM:Enemy Within, I was looking forward to Long War mod. I heard some things about it and generally get hyped. Why wait 5+ years to play then, you ask? Well because I do things in my own time. And since I am eternal, time really isn't much of an issue for me.

Now that I've finally played this mod I will be attacking it like no tomorrow.

   First of all there are many(MANY) changes to the vanilla XCOM. Before playing my first playthrough(PT), I read the readme file of the mod which had tons of disclaimers by the modders.


Some stupid review site said that it's an expansion pack. It really isn't.


An expansion pack usually adds to the current gameplay, with Long War the entire game system is changed.

Who shouldn't play XCOM:LW? 

 

If you played vanilla on normal difficulty and think that your are amazing at it.
If you don't have a lot of time on your hands.
If you played and liked Skyrim.
If you ever called yourself a Call of Duty fan.
If you never seen one of them Ironmen Impossible gameplays on Youtube.

Believe me you best stay away.

This mod is amazingly fun in a sadictic kind of way. If you like torturing yourself with constant losses as you try to decypher how can you die less and even imagine yourself winning, then this is the mod for you.
I loved this mod because the Impossible difficulty on vanilla was too boring for me. I don't like that spam spawn points with nades kind of gaming experience. In Long War you can actually combat against you opposition without feeling being cheated.
In vanilla XCOM the odds are obviously stacked against you in above-Normal difficulties. Your men suck but the enemies get a aim bonus which fucks up the whole fun of active combat. Long War tweaks that active combat experience and turns the odds from logically impossible to somewhat plausible. This was the mod for me because of that reason alone. I love vanilla XCOM:EW but never wanted to play in Impossible because of the clearly unbalanced gameplay. Long War is really unfair in many instances but it also gives you a chance to fight against those impossible odds.
Still it requires patience and observance. And when you manage to actually win a hard mission you get an amazing sensation of accomplishment. So there's that.

Here is a list of changes and things I've noticed on my second playthrough. I totally fucked it up in the first one so I had to start again.

These would only be useful to you if you are a sucker like me. If you are one of them grenade spamming pros this guide is totally shit. 

Overwatch has better accuracy than shooting. Shooting and stabilizing weapon is crap.

   Shooting is literally useless, only do it if you can't overwatch. There is a mechanic called Stabilizing Weapon, which is supposedly increases your aim if you spend one turn in waiting. This is completely bullshit and only increases your aim minorly.

Rockets and Grenades(especially AP-nades) are a MUST.

   You need Rocketeer class for rockets and Engineers for nades. Take AP-nades and keep in mind that grenades lose their damage from range and obstacles. 
   Don't bother with grenades unless your can throw them directly at someone. Explosive damage is relative to distance and cover, so your simple frag nade might do 0 damage and at best it will do 3. 1-2 is normal. So don't count on explosive auto-kills. It's nearly impossible to kill more than one XRAYs with a single grenade(They need to stick close to one another, which they probably don't).
   Rocketeers can get an extra rocket from the inventory, which gives you 2 rockets per combat but it reduces their mobility. Engineers can carry up-to 4 nades of your choice per combat.
   Get AP-nades, rest are crap.

Even the sectoid has better aim than you. Everyone has better aim than you. 

   Keep in mind that everyone else has better aim than you. So don't think "I can take that sectoid on.", you will die if you get cocky and rush over to your enemies.
   They will kill you in low cover. And they will probably kill you in high cover. Taking low cover means your soldier is dead. Taking high cover means, you may survive if the XCOM gods are good.


Ignore all the statistics

   Once an XRAY killed my gal with 9% chance on shooting. Statistics are merely a hint, don't trust them. 
    In vanilla if you raged because you missed a 85% shoot, then prepare yourself for missing every 85% shoot. Even if you get something like 60%, keep in mind that the game is lying. Consult to the chart below for shooting chances.
<30% = Don't even bother shooting
40% = 5%
50% = 5%
60% = Maybe, just maybe you can hit that XRAY
85% = There is a good chance that you will hit but don't get upset if you miss, you probably will miss
100% = You will hit but you need to be close for this one, close as in 1 square close

Tentacle Rape Monster(TRM) instantly kills soldiers in the second turn it strangles

   Remember that grey rape monster that strangles your soldiers? It was pretty useless in vanilla but here they are a pain in the ass. Keep in mind that if you don't dislodge the TRM from your soldier she is dead. Once your soldier gets strangled you need to dislodge the TRM in 1 turn or you're dead.

Outsiders have genetic powers.

    Remember that UFO monster with a crystal in his guts, that's called Outsider. And yes, they have lost of skills in LW. Usually it is not possible for you to kill one in the early game so don't even bother attacking downed UFOs. I managed to kill 2 with nade and rocket spam but that was only once. So ignore downed UFOs in early game. Don't think they are free stuff like back in vanilla.
   Outsiders have jumping ability that allows him to jump on roofs, whatever that is called. They have amazing aim(It means your soldiers in low cover is instantly dead). They also have lots of HP(10 or so) and they regenerate 3HP per turn. Welcome to Long War.


You can't down UFOs anymore, they're super powerful. 

   You remember those big cargo UFOs you encounter in the late-game? Well they come in the first few days now and even the small UFOs can bring down 2-3 crafts.
You get to choose three interception options for your craft before launch.
DEF: Defense, Think of this as having high cover, your craft gets shot let's say...one every three shots.
BAL: Balance, This is the low cover equivalent, your craft gets shot every 2 shots.
AGR: Agressive, This is no cover, you get shot everyturn. If the UFO is strong it could down you in 2 shots.
Usually go for DEF and sometimes BAL. Don't bother with AGR.
Sometimes don't even bother intercepting and don't think you can down even the smallest UFO with one craft.


Research system is changed, it's expensive and  takes longer to accomplish each project.

   Even if you win the missions you would not get much parts to research(weapon fragments etc.), so the chances are you would be short on resources to start the research. Also don't give away any resources to the countries, you gonna need them later on.

Autopsies cost 10 corpses, not 1 like in vanilla.

   A nice little change that will make you red raging.

Money and every other resource is scarce so choose wisely, don't spend on useless stuff.

List of useless stuff:
Sawed-off
Motion Tracker
Attack craft(don't go buying 1 craft and expect it do down any UFOs, buy them if you're rich.)

SHIV is god now. 

   It moves fast, it is durable, it won't get hit as much as your soldiers. It can equip items, it can supress several enemies with an item. It's an amazing scout and flanker. It a fucking life saver. You better have 1-2 SHIVs if you hate them and have 3-4 SHIVS if you love them. However XRAYs will target your SHIV in every chance they get and will kill it mercilessly if you don't protect it.

Aliens are better than you in every aspect.

   All aliens have more HP and combined with their defense they are less easier to kill. Forget about 1-shot kills you get in vanilla XCOM. You will do 2-4 dmg on average even if you managed to hit.

There are three ways to get kills without wasting the resources(ie. explosives);


1:Outflank an enemy, this will get you a "most of the time certain" kill if you are in short range, a "probably" kill if in mid-range and a "probably" kill if long range.

2:Overwatch. Overwatch has more kill potential than mere shooting, however it is always a wild card. Overwatch is really random and gets effected by many parameters but OW is the most common way you will get kills. In short range OW usually hits but whether it kills is not certain(Don't expect it to). In mid-range it might hit and might kill but you better pray.

3:Shooting. Don't even bother, shooting is worthless and only do it if you feel lucky. You will never get anything better than 50% which actually means 5%.

AI is cleverer, so it will outflank you if it can(Which means your guy is dead).

   AI will outflank, use supressive skills, use AOE skills and generally fuck the shit out of you.

EXALT missions are horrible. 

   You get a squad cap reduction for EXALT missions which means you go against 10+ EXALT operatives with 4 guys. You can fix that somewhat with second wave options, see below for second wave options.
   Also EXALT goes after your operative. They specifically hunt down your defenseless operative and kill her in relay hack missions. I have no idea how to keep the operative alive. She is usually planted directly in the middle of enemy territory and EXALT targets her despite being seen.
I have no idea why the modders decided that you should have less people to fight against EXALT.

Here is a list for each alien I encountered:

 

Sectoid: Good aim, will use psychic powers(mind fray and psy-panic). Can supress.
Thin Man: Has good aim. Will kill you if you're in low cover. Will outflank you since they can run long distances. Instead of Poison they use Acid, which reduces your aim and explosive use distance(rockets and nades). Also uses supression and jumps to roofs.
Floaters: Floaters come in large packs and outflank you in every chance.
Seekers(TRM): Not dangerous if deterred via overwatch, close range shooting and explosives, usually causes havoc among the ranks if you're hard pressed with other XRAYs. Otherwise not much of a problem, if you're careful that is.
Chryssalid: These bugs are gonna murder you. They are fast, have 8+ HP and 1-shot your soldiers in melee(And cum in their mouth to make zombies). So you either overwatch them like crazy and explode them with dets, or die.
Muton: Mutons will kill you in low cover and are tough as fuck.
Cyberdisc: Cyberdisks will kill you in all cover. Every turn means you lose 1 soldier.
I haven't seen any other XRAYs yet but even these will give you a hint about what the fuck are you going to encounter.

Changes in weaponry:

   There are several different type of weapons to choose from. They usually modify mobility, aim and critical chance.
Here is general descriptions for primary weapons. 

SMGs: Most compact type primary weapon, gives mobility, no critical chance. Beh.
Carbines: Second compact type primary weapon, gives little mobility, gives little crit chance. Meh.
Combat rifles: Normal rifle, the logical choice. No mobility modification, normal crit chance.
Battle rifles: More powerful than combat rifle but has penalty on aim if moved. -1 Mobility, more damage, normal crit chance. Use if you aren't going to move much.

Shotguns: Who the fuck cares, you can't get close to the XRAY fuckers without getting killed.

Marksman & Sniper Rifles: Honestly I love snipers but found that they suck at Long War, because your snipers always get shitty chances. The cool thing is that you can combine sniper and squadsight and can shoot at really long ranges but I usually get stuck in a certain area and don't have much chance to spread the squad. Take if you like but don't expect your sniper to kill one XRAY everyturn like in vanilla XCOM.

SAW & LMG: USE SAW.

When choosing weapons you need to keep a balance between mobility, damage and skills. For instance if you get Move or Shoot kind of weapon with high damage you will get fucked over in bomb missions or other missions where you need to dash and fire. So don't think "The biggest damage is da best.".

Laser Weapons:

   In vanilla XCOM once you research laser weaponry you get good weapons that can kill enemies. This is not the case with Long War laser. LW laser weapons are slightly powerful and give aim bonus. Which is almost redundant but you get what you can. We are talking about 2-3 dmg and +6 aim. Not much.

Item Damage or Lost:

Items in LW gets damaged or destroyed. If your SHIV gets damaged items on it might be damaged. If you leave operatives and SHIV behind, items on them might be lost (ie. aborting mission).

Here is the description from wiki:
     If a soldier was reduced to 0 health, there's a 20~95% chance for the item to become damaged depending on each item value.
Here is the one for losing items:
    There is a 50% chance to recover gear from MIA soldiers and 100% from dead soldiers when mission is won.

So when your people get hit their items might get damaged. And you might lose items when you leave people behind.

Too bad twister, should have read the amazing guide of Lambdagod on this amazing blog before you play.

Don't bother with special missions:

   Remember that fishing town mission with bugs coming out from everywhere? Don't even bother playing it. Also don't try to recruit that asian guy, I managed to win that mission but let me tell you, you get attacked by 25 or so Thin Men. And Thin Men is better than your soldiers. They use acid and diminish your already sucking aim. I managed to counter the waves via overwatch and explosive and shit tons of luck. Then I took the sideway, overwatching the entire way through. It really feels amazing when you win a mission like that.

That's all for now, I will add the necessary Second Wave options when I played it again but can't into that right now. Yeah.


 SECOND FREAKING WAVE OPTIONS

If you  are a loser like me that cannot play in the hardcorest mode ever, then turn these on when you start a game.


 Friendly Skies:
Your interceptors are significantly more accurate during air combat.
With this option your chances of downing a UFO rises from 1% to 2%. Enjoy.

 Perfect Information:
You will see enemy to-hit values. 
Needed to learn about the game mechanics without have to read those stupid forums. Fuck reading.

We Are Legion:
Start with the two squad size increases already developed.
Four XCOM Operatives vs. Twenty EXALT Operatives doesn't seem fair to me.

Cinematic Mode:
XCOM units are significantly more accurate during tactical combat.
A.K.A. "Pussy lambdagod can't play this mod" option. Select to increase your amazing aim from 10% to 20%. 
ENJOYI!

6/21/2016

Got Pissed: The Forgotten Ones & DayHard



The Forgotten Ones is a Half Life 2 mod. A free, indie, horror mod.

It starts off with a funny car ride but you get used to it saying "Well it's indie, let's ignore that.". So as you progress through the first level you get some jump scares and at that point you realise this game isn't going to be a big deal.

The only okay aspect of this game is the environment and the WW2 weaponry. 

ENVIRONMENT:
   What does the environment add to the game? Nothing. There is literally nothing happening related to the environment. The map design is singular and only someparts look cool. Other than that there is nothing adding to the game design.

WEAPONRY:
   What does the WW2 weaponry add to the game? Nothing. The only fun aspect is to have these variety of WW2 weapons but the shooting is so dull that you really don't enjoy them. Shooting is done this way: An enemy jumpscares you and you have 2 seconds to shoot him dead, if they reach you they cause a massive camera knocking effect which renders shooting to "good luck champ". Unless you get real lucky and land a completely lucky shot, you die from being knocked back over and over. And the gun mechanics are also stupid, you grab a machine gun and you need 10 bullets to kill a guy which takes 2 with a sniper rifle.

   Aparently there was Dewpiedie reference inside the game, I did not encounter that but I did encounter the Justin Bieber reference down in the basement or something.
Dude...developer dude...look, if you are trying to be taken serious and make a gritty horror game you really shouldn't put such meymey jokes inside the game. What were you even thinking?

   One thing that astonished me was the balls of the mod-makers. Apart from the memes this mod tries to take itself super seriously and even wants to compete with Cry of Fear in many aspects.

   From it's storyline to environment to monster design this mod tries to be Cry of Fear so hard, and obviously fails at every aspect.

Cry of Fear release: 2012
The Forgotten Ones release: 2014

So the mod-makers played CoF and said "Hey let's make a mod like this but let's mix in nazis."

STORYLINE:
   Basic storyline is this. These is a mad scientist nazi guy who does mutant/daemon experiments on holocaust victims or something. Then you traverse through his mansion grounds to find him. And when you do...nothing happens, you just kill the guy. You just kill everything you encounter. The story is super bland.
Compare it to CoF: A lone teenager is lost in a town and everything around him is odd. Horrid looking people are trying to kill him and he survives by fighting back. Later it is reveled that the entire thing was a metaphor for his internal depression and sadness. Everything in the story boils down to his final confrontation with his depression and eventual suicide.
   TFO does not get any benefit from including nazis or the holocaust to the story other than neat WW2 weapons. Which I assume is ported from another game, althought I don't really know this for sure.
   CoF plays the "it was all a dream" card but it plays it so well that you get hooked onto the story. And it wasn't even a reveal or anything but you become suspicious of the reality and realise that the monster in the game are metaphors for psychological problems one suffers during the gameplay. Developers even try to trick the audience into thinking that a biological apocalypse is going on. They designed the human flower solely for this purpose.

Human Flower gives out the impression that a bio-apocalypse is going on.


MONSTERS:
   All monster in TFO are mutants. They have two heads or bloody limbs. They are experiments that this nazi scientist made. That's it. Nothing more.
   If you compare this to CoF monsters you see the blandness of TFO, every monster in CoF is a psychological fear or problem the teenager had.
Getting stuck in bed because of sickness/madness.
Wanting to commit suicide.
TFO monsters are just mutant experiments.
It is clear that this mod has nothing on CoF, yet has the huge balls to parade as an amazing horror game while including PewPieDie and Justin Bieber references.
Even the main menu is pretentious, it says "Start the Nightmare" as if the game was actually scary. I'm cringing all over.

Oh, I forgot, it also had Necronomicon inside the game, not even a reference or anything. Apparently the nazi scientist was using necronomicon to make these monsters. You actually enter into a library where every book is a necronomicon. How original and witty, isn't it?

Final Say: Don't Bother. Play Cry of Fear instead.

DayHard is another HL2 mod. It's a comedy-goof mod. Why goof you ask? Well the premise is "Bruh, let's make a silly mod n shit, let's put in all kinda funny shit innit, ammirit?". So there you go, a goof mod.

   Released back in 2008, I had the chance to play it recently. Why review old mods you ask? Absolutely no fucking reason.

   This mod is competent and okay-made. It somewhat sticks to the premise and tries to be funny, yet I did not find any jokes inside that would be defined as comedy. It was more like "Let's make a silly mod and put in random weird shit inside.".

   DayHard reminded me of Hitchiker's Guide to the Galaxy a bit. In the HGtG there wasn't also a clear story or aim. It was just random funny events and phenomenon happening to the characters. Humor drove the book rather than the storyline.
With this mod however the funny aspects were quite dumb. Where HGtG is funny and witty this mod doesn't really had any funny bits that I laughed at. In fact I didn't laughed once.

   Compare this mod to The Stanley Parable. I mean the original mod. TSP was a homage to HGtG in many aspects, dry and downer humour with a stingy narrative.

   In a supposed comedy any lack of witty humour is a game-killer but that wasn't the only problem. Obviously the mod is filled with shittons of references but I am used to references after all these years. Don't we all see that throwback and flashes of nostalgia in all hollywood movies or games? Help me Obi-wan Kenobi, I need someone to fuck. See? We are desynthized to the whole "HAHA reference so very funneyh." thing. So the references were dull and not clever.

Lack Of Objective:
   TSP had puzzles and humorous places that attracted your attention during the short gameplay. With DayHard there is literally nothing to latch onto while playing. It's just shoot, shoot, shoot, shoot. I mean any FPS game is just shooting but you usually add some flavor into it somehow. In DayHard there was somekind of a story but anykind of ability to convey that story to the player was non-existent which drove me nuts. I had no care or attention to the game. And constant map freezes wasn't kind either.
  At first I had hope that the jokes or the story would take over but neither was there and soon I was left in this empty map filled with enemies that I had to shoot at. Map design is a crucial part in FPS and without proper designs there really was nothing to do except shoot at things in the same bland fashion.

Running The Mod:
    Running this mod was hell. At first the steam didn't saw the folder so I had to re-do it. Then the game run but it froze between the maps. I installed the patches but there were several patches that overwrote one another, so some of the patches made the game not-run while others sometimes worked. I needed to restart and save the game during the cutscenes so I had a reference point if the mod froze again. Also restarting entire maps worked if you are at the starting cutscene. How I finished this mod and how I managed to get it to run...don't ask.

Final Say: Don't Bother. Play Stanley's Parable or whatever.

5/30/2016

Got Pissed: David Annandale and his Damnation of Pythos...again.

Nothing happens the book

I have finally finished this 'book'. It sucked horribly. 

Audiobook format is 12 hours long and I listen to these when I use public transpotasium. Whenever I listened to this I felt like it drags on and on and on.

I like Jonathan Keeble's reads and this guy(The David) made me sick of his voice. I have listened and read a shit tons of 40K books and this one was so boring it took me months to actually finish it. I had to read 2-3 other books at the same time to keep myself occupied. Whenever one of those ended I returned to this boring shitfest of a book. And it finally ended. I will look into his Yarrick book for the sake of Yarrick but I will be sure to hate them if they turn sour.

Let's see what other people had to say about this book.



 1: Well Tom, Black Library is milking the Horus Heresy for a long time now, so don't get suprised if your tits let out some milk.

2: Being predictable is probably the worst thing a writer or a filmmaker can be. You hate to be two steps ahead of your audience not four steps behind.

3: It is skippable, it sucks.

4: Enjoyable you say? Did you just grew a brain tumor in the last 2 seconds? It's fun? I can't argue with opinions but generally normal people don't find boring, fun. In fact boring is the opposite of fun. You can't get fun when you are bored.

4 stars? I wonder what Tom considered a goodread since he gave this pile of crap 4 stars.

As my good friend Tom put it, this book is boring and bland. Fuck you Tom.



   Whoa there champ. The 111st 5th what? Hold onto your Star Wars toys everyone, we got ourselves an über-nerd. Thanks to Christian we learned this important information about 11112nd company-clan whatevers. Christian is a fine fellow that memorizes all these clan numbers and shit, but the irony is that he fails at math in school. Drop out from school Christian, it's better that way.

   Have you ever met up with one of these über-nerds? They know all the Star Wars character names, the memorize all the 40K dates, and in the end the only thing you need is a fun story in which something interesting happens. Despite all the luggage that came with titles like Star Wars or Warhammer40000 the thing that pulled people in wasn't their arithmetic aspects, but their basic themes and interesting stories.
Basicly put:
Star Wars: Good versus evil, a hero on a journey.
Warhammer40000: Our own history and historical themes shot out into space and merged with popular scifi.
These are the aspects that made those titles what they are, not the 11111113rd company-whatevers.
Also 4 stars...


Uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh another idiot who liked this horrible boo...OH! Wait a minute, I think we have a winner.
Actually I have nothing to say in protest, he put it out there really good. Good job Simon.


 Nick is also a fine fellow. Which makes several good points that I will be supporting later on.



Darrel did you not read "Nemesis"? Where five Officio Assasinorum agents goes on a field trip together to kill Horus Lupercal, there is a meaningless detective story that doesnt go anywhere for fifty percent of the book then Vindicare shoots the wrong mark mistaking him for Horus, culexus assassin dies instantly having no effect on the story, then there is a plot about some warp-assassin that is going to kill the Emperor because of blood and shit. Then they try to kill that and fail, book ends with the Vindicare charging to Horus' battlebarge with his shuttle and Horus says something like "Come at me". No, clearly the worst book ever is Nemesis, but nothing is more boring than Damnation of Pythos.

These two following are from thefoundingfields.com

 You haven't read War and Peace do you? Where there is 200 characters and every scene is an elongated description of the current event.
David has 3-4 distinct characters at most and his book is incomprehensible as fuck.

For someone who claims to have seen the best, you really are dumb. I can't imagine what you think about some classic scifi books if you think this deserves 7.2

Let's see what Black Library have to say.

Even they know.

So let's break down this story and see what's wrong with it.

   The story is basicly this. There's these Isstvan survivors, they escape from the masscre and then find an Emperor's Children ship. They assault it. Inside David tells us about the contrasting ideals between the mechanical and inhuman Iron Hands doctrine and the corrupted and flesh pleasure practices of the Emperor's Children. The descriptions in the ship assault was one of the two things I actually cared about. But if you are a 40K veteran the description is just copy paste from Chaos and Space Marine Codexes. Iron Hands are robotic and abhor flesh, Emperor's Children like flesh and it's pleasures. Where Iron Hands try to replace their flesh with machine, Children enhance their flesh with vocal cords and super sensitive eyes and mega ears and penises that are vaginas at the same time.

   So the contrasting ideals of two sides were downplayed. If the entire book was machine vs flesh, it would be more interesting. But it wasn't, there is just some two pages of abstract explanation of these ideals which are already known to long time 40K fans. 

   Abstract writings of David is horrible. In every two sentence you get: "Then the night fell, like it was a dark curtain being pulled over the sky." or "Then the thunderhawk crashed like a meteor that plunged from the heavens with the screaming of the angels, it rolled over like a stone being lifted and let go.". No, these weren't actual extracts from the book, I just made them up from the bottom of my ass. But they are pretty close to the actual thing. I appreciate his abstract description of the warp and how it is actually madness incarnate but you don't need to do the same thing over and over again for the entire book. The only word that came to my mind is "FILLEEEEEEEEEEER!".

Let's compare:
"Then the thunderhawk crashed onto the earth and rolled over slowly." : Lotz a wordz
"Then the thunderhawk crashed like a meteor that plunged from the heavens with the screaming of the angels, it rolled over like a stone being lifted and let go." : Lotz a wordz

I used the Ork counting system here, anything more than five is lotz. So if we equal these two values.
Lotz = Lotz
...
I'm sure that if you use human arithmetics and figure out which sentence is longer, then you would find that these descriptions are only there to fill up the book that would otherwise would not be filled with such a simplistic storyline.

   After the ship assault where nothing literally happens, the Iron Hand ship reaches a planet. You guessed right, the planet is Pythos.
   Then Iron Hands fight lizard monsters which is reminiscent to that Salamander book, which was far more interesting than this pile of crap. Whatever it was called. Promethean Sun, I had look it up. It had Vulkan jumping off a thunderhawk if I remember correctly. Then there were Eldar using forest magic and flying on dinosaurs. They were Exotarch Eldars if I remember correctly. No wait... Exodite Eldar. Exodite are the wild elves. They use dinosaur-tech which is awesome.

   Funny thing is I listened to Promethean Sun when I quit Damnation on Pythos and I had totally forgotten about it. But while writing this I remembered what happened in it. It wasn't amazing but it wasn't bland too. So you can imagine what kind of a fail-fuck David Annandale is. I just finished his book and does not remember a single fucking thing.

   On Pythos, they fight dinosaurs and find that there are native humans living. Then the survivors of the secular Imperium and religious native humans start up a village. Literally they build a village with a temple and all that.
For the middle chunk of the book there is oddity dialog between seculars and religious people and you directly predict that this would go two ways. Either the religious people worship chaos or they worship emperor. So it's a coin toss between the two sides. David tries to make this into a philosophical religion vs secular ideals kinda thing. But it drags on and on. In the end it is revealed that they worship Chaos. Whopdydo, what a twist.

At this point the only thing I liked was that Iron Hands go into a cave and they find giant grubs.


Imagine this but twice as large as a Space Marine
Then they fight the grubs for no reason. Action scene involving grubs were fairly fun. Its a daft concept but there wasn't much to it. I would appreciate it if there were more intersting concepts in this book rather than bland philosophical ideas that you can read in any Philosophy 101 textbook.

So at this point you are fed with these characters that doesn't have a motivation and just talk and wait for stuff to happen. Reminds you of a Star Wars Prequel, doesn't it.

Also one of the characters is named : Kanshell
I was constantly thinking that this name is actually : ClamShell

A Clam shell
You hear this name for hundreds of times and don't know why the fuck the guy has a silly name like Clamshell.

Now we have finally reached the end of this horrid shit of a book. In the end chaos happens. Some deamon comes up. Destroys a Vindicator or something. Then some shit happens and the book ends.

This book is boring and uninteresting. Don't read it. Don't even get near it. Fuck you David Annandale. Go write your Philosophy 101 literature somewhere else. Lose your job and become a hobo you boring fuck. Fuck you!

B-but why do you hate me so, lambda-kun?
Go fuck yourself you cunt. Fucking asswipe sucking on Gamesworkshop's ass. Go die in a radioactive waste barrel you fuck.

BAAAW!
Dude, don't cry. Dude. Seriously. Dude. Stop crying. I didn't mean it okay? It's just part of the shtick. I was angry, okay? I didn't mean for you to die. You can keep writing for GW, they all suck these days anyways.

S-seriously, lambda-kun? Did-did you mean it?
Sure, I have lost hope on GW a long time ago. You can write whatever the fuck you want. If it make you better, I didn't liked that Phil Kelly novella too, the tau one. Surely it was better than yours but it was bland also.

Oh, lambda-kun! I knew you wouldn't hate me. I love you.
Yeah, cool. Wait...what!?

Kiss me, lambda-kun.